Saturday, 25 July 2009

100 days


So, like so many before me, I have fallen to the trap of ignoring most things since I've been married! I admit my guilt and apologise to all the friends I've blamed for doing exactly that.

The problem is, how can I happily ignore my new shared existence for the solitary task of writing a blog? I have to be fair and state that my other half, has been nagging me to return to my writings but the temptation of sharing the simplest and most basic things in life with him is far too strong for me to forsake and this has resulted in a worrying back log of daily chores, meetings with friends and bloging about life, universe and everything else I (we)'ve been up to.

So almost a 100 days after my wedding day (which was a nerve raking but enjoyable affair) how is life different?
I still wake up early in the morning, have my coffee and rush to work 5 days a week. I still return home after spending the whole day in endless deliberation with people at the office and dose off in front of the TV by 10. On the face of it, life is very much back to what it was a 101 days ago but appearances could not be more deceiving!
I wake up in the morning to be greeted by a loving joyful smile, I think I must have fallen in love with that smile all over again because of these morning treats, the whole day begins on a high note from such an apparently small thing. It's wonderful to realise that you can make someone so happy just by being there...
My morning coffee is not just a coffee anymore, it's the outcome of many tries and tests to ensure that it's as I like it, now my morning coffee awaits for me and is preceded with a kiss and followed by a farewell hug before I head to work. There hasn't been much of a summer this year in London but my sky has never been so blue when I leave to the office in the morning.

Now, for the first time in a very long time, my work isn't my world. I have finely managed to move away from rotating alone around a thing to navigating on a more defined path with someone. It wasn't, and still not, easy to realise that my choices now impact someone other than me. The responsibility is magnified exponentially but then the reward has grown by far greater measures. I still don't know in which direction the wind will blow but knowing that I wont be pushed alone, some might think this is a bit cowardly, makes the journey much less stressful and much more enjoyable. I am a strong person, but I never realised how heavy the burden was till I had shared it with him. Now the weight is lighter and the carrying is easier.

Finally I have someone I can share all the things I love with, adventure and all. Listening to Barber of Seville under the pouring rain then singing Figaro on the train back home while trying not to wet the seats with our drenched cloth, promenading at the Royal Albert Hall for a whole season, who other than my husband will agree to stand for 3 hours listening to classical music more than once a month? We have been there 3 times already, the BBC Prom season is still at the beginning and I still cannot believe that I'll be attending the Last Night of the Proms in person, with him.

It seems that I can cook! Not to the extent of Abufares or Kano but enough for my husband to put on some weight! In the time honoured tradition of Syrian wives, the aim is get the husband 10% heavier within the first 6 month. Now, not cooking for anyone before and having my diet restricted to takeaways and microwavable dishes for the past 5 years, I didn't have much hopes when hubby came over but either he's still very much in love, or miraculously, I have managed to pick up a couple of hints from mum. She, bless her, now asks me what did I cook when I talk to her on my weekly phonecall home, she's always ready with fast and easy recipes to whisk in 20m or less. The problem is, I'm never one to follow a recipe and I always end up following my own instinct with ingredients and timing. So far I have made Courgette(a.k.a Zurchini) with yogurt and rice, garden peas with tomato sauce and rice which ended up being a cross between the traditional Syrian dish and a meat and vegetable curry and stuffed mushrooms with vegetables and cheese toping. I'm discovering the joys of inventing something totally crazy and having someone cleaning the plate to the last rice grain and then insist on doing the dishes!

It has taken me long to return back to my notebook and blog, not because I don't want to, but because life has been so good over the last 100 days and while we share our sorrows with other without much reluctance, we jealously guard our happiness and keep it a well hidden secret. Maybe because you're always worried that the second you say you're happy something bad will happen, maybe because happiness just keeps you wrapped in its warm embrace that you easily forget about anything beyond it. I have stolen myself away from it this afternoon while he was mowing the lawn; enjoying the gentle breath, stealing side glances at him and writing, I check that he's really there and that I'm not going to be woken up from this dream anytime soon. I still reach out to him to make sure his there during the short summer nights and we still call each other as much as possible during the day.
I started this blog to share with him the things I couldn't say over the phone, it has been my dream and my emotional base for so long that now going back to it while he's by my side feels a bit unusual. I don't know what this blog will be from this day onward? Can it remain as “Snapshot from a Syrian girl's daily life in The City ”? I'm not sure it has ever been but I believe that blogs, like any product of the creative process, grow organically. Maybe in a year's time, this will be a place to share cooking jocks/disasters or best cleaning advices. Maybe it will be full of events and activities in London, or maybe, just maybe, it will remain a snapshot of a Syrian girl's life, a small corner when I can share a dream and the pursuit of happyness.

I'm at one of those moment of pure happiness now, dare I dream when/what the next one will be?

8 comments:

abufares said...

So glad to hear from and about you. Wow, a 100 day!
Like the beads in a rosary, days will slip by. Happy times are sneaky like that.
I wish you both all the Happiness only true love can bring. But you should keep writing and never stop.
I look over my own blog and how much it has changed over the last 3 years... I can't believe it myself. A blog is only a mirror and whenever you have the time, take a look at yourself and give us (readers) a hint of the good times.
A big Salam to your Tough Half :-)

Kano said...

What a lovely post. I am two years into marriage and feels still exactly the same.

Thanks for the compliment about my cooking.

poshlemon said...

Beautiful :) All I can say. But keep writing; tell us about you and him and how life is just amazing.

Syrian in London said...

Dear Abufares, tell me about it, it still feels like yesterday when I was running around trying to finish my preparations before the wedding. But at the same time, it's so normal to return home to his smile.

Kano, in shaa Allah your whole life time. I discovered your blog recently (sorry) and enjoyed reading it. Waiting for a Ramadan Special.

Poshlemon, thanks my friend, will try my best.

Kano said...

Hi

I am glad you like the blog. Keep coming and there will always be something good to read and to cook.

Ramadan special! That is a great idea. It was not on my mind at all. Thank you

Syrian in London said...

a Ramadan special is a must (otherwise where will get ideas for a decent spread in this country)

Yasemin said...

Love your blog so much! My husband is from Damascus and this post gave me a lot of optimism about my own marriage. Inshallah maybe the next pure happiness is a baby!

thriver said...

hi
i really like your blog
im a syrian too living in london
im 17
anyway
if u want u can also check out my blog http://thriveandlearn.blogspot.com/
best of wishes
and i guess i have to say i hope u have a nice ramadan
from issam