Monday 28 May 2007

Pursuit of happiness!



Or should I write “Happyness” as the film is titled? It has been some time since I last watched a film that moved me so deeply and have made me really stop and think about what we all want in life and what we work so hard for, Happiness…

Being based on a true story, a time in the life of Chris Gardner, the film has a different taste to your usual morally strong, socially oriented films. The knowledge that this has actually happened to someone, that the drama is derived from real life and is not a fragment of imagination from a talented writer gives it that much more weight and that much more impact on us outside viewers.

I saw the film for the first time on my way back from Syria, I blamed an already over emotional, over active set of feeling, or maybe a horrible neighbour in the seat next to me, for crying in a plane full of people but then I realised the most of the people on the plane were trying to hide a tear or two after seeing the film! Then I accepted it as the impact of brilliant writing and acting in a very good film, there was that bit of doubt about the liberal artistic changes to the real story to fit the film, that bit more of spices to create a stronger set of feelings in the viewers but the aftertaste remained, hence when the film was out on DVD and I noticed that within the special features added there is an interview with the real Chris Gardner I couldn’t help but buy the DVD and take it home.

I watched the interview before the film and the impact was amazing, realising that there were little, or no, artistic additions to the story, that this man has actually spend nights in train station’s lavatory with his son because he had nowhere to go was shocking. To know that someone have reached that low and then managed to end on top is inspiring to say the least!

We all seek happiness; we all, whether we know it or not, work towards it and have it in our horizon in every direction we go to. A lot may disagree, may proclaim other intentions or other goals but even the most unselfish act one does are aimed to get a sense of self satisfaction and happiness for being able to help someone else.

These days, with all that is happening around us in this crazy world, happiness, very much like that blue bird over the rainbow, is hard to see, hard to find. Even if we’re happy in our personal life, we feel guilty for being happy when so many around us are so miserable, as if feeling happy is something to be ashamed of now. With life being not that simple, all that much cruel and all the more complex; being happy is reserved for simple or selfish people who can ignore that craziness!

But I disagree, pursuing happiness is part of our humanity, one of reasons for our existence, seeking happiness is the thing that drives me to wake up in the morning, to struggle with work and annoyances all day, seeing that happiness in the horizon is what gives me my will to live.

But do we ever reach that horizon? Can we ever be happy? The pursuit of happyness gives you a good clue, that one moment in the end, he calls that time Happiness! One moment when all is well, all is right, that second that is suspended in time is what it is all about! That perfect embrace, that one single kiss, the first time you hold your child or that first time to he says I love you, that is what happiness means. Don’t fall for the illusion that it will be forever and a day, it is not lasting or permanent, that happiness is reserved for that moment, and once that moment is passed, so does the happiness that came with it and all that we’re left with is a memory of that moment, that sweet aftertaste that we remember and desire for a long time to come.

But does that mean that the Pursuit of Happyness is a mirage that never lasts? Some people despair and think that is the case, some see this pursuit as waste or a fantasy that would drive you mad in the end. I beg to differ…

It is that single moment that gives life meaning, you seek it, it comes, it takes your breath away and leave you with an afterthought of warm, sweet pleasure but that is not all that it leaves you with! Like clues to a treasure, each moment of happiness points you in the direction of the one after it. The moment passes, but there is a new horizon and a new rainbow that we seek and work hard to reach, till we get to that new point of utter happiness and so on for as long as we live.

Life is all about that, moving from one point of joy to the other, remembering the ones that passed and dreaming of the ones that are on the way. The excitement of living is that we never know where the next pursuit will lead us, the possibilities are endless and we are pilgrims searching for that holy grail of endless joy. The journey is never easy, most of the time is hard, stone hard, the journey might include sleeping in the lavatory with your child or seeking shelter in a homeless home, but for all that hardship, that moment is that much sweeter and last that much longer.

In this there is the answer to whether it’s worth it or not; is something worth the heart ache, the stress, the struggle? A lucky person would say yes it is, would know that the reward is worth the price and would fight for it. A lucky person won’t take the easy way out and settle for a medium level of semi happiness just because the alternative is much harder. A lucky person would realise how precious this happiness is and realise that for their life to mean something he or she should go down that rocky road for some time to come.

Finally, a lucky person would have someone to seek that happiness with, one of those rare times in life when your walk is not a lonely one, your fight is not a me against the odds but Us against the world, for those lucky few, part of that perceived happiness is involved in the journey itself, for those lucky few, the road is as precious as the moment. For those lucky few, like Chris and Christopher Gardner, happyness is always close by…

Be happy





Picture is the property of © 2006 Columbia Pictures Industries Inc

Saturday 19 May 2007

Fairuz & Music


I'm writing this blog and I’m apologising in advance from Abu Fares who have stated before so strongly that he hates Fairuz


Well my dear friend, now, on my weekend in this foreign country, I’m writing this blog while listening to Fairuz in the background and I just discovered that I actually really love her!
I have to admit that my relationship with Fairuz hasn't been going on for long; when I was living in Syria, listening to her in the morning was such a normal part of the day that I didn't even notice it plus the fact that the morning portion of Fairuz was usually early in the day before I wake up!


Then I came to London, and it seems that all expats have to listen to Fairuz all the time, certain songs like Nassam 3alina elhawa (نسم علينا الهوى) are the must for anyone missing home here, and it usually reduced people to tears when listening to it. Well, it didn't have that effect on me! And albeit strong discussions with friends and family, the number one diva for me has always been, and always will be don't miss understand me here, Um Kulthom. Although she's classified as old fashion by the majority of my generation, I’m properly hocked to her voice and her songs...
Back to Fairuz, my relationship with her changed more than a year and a half ago and I have to admit that this change was because of an external influence!

A song is just a song, but when someone tells you what this song mean to them and to you, this combination of words and tunes takes a whole different meaning...
Songs like Ya 7elu sho bkhaf eni dai3ak (يا حلو شو بخاف إني ضيعك) and Ya 2albi la tet3eb Albak (يا قلبي لا تتعب قلبك ) now carry a distinctive meaning and capture a moment in time and a feeling that would otherwise pass unrecorded.
I think that is why some people just can't imagine Arabic music without Fairuz, she has so many of the sweet gentle songs, just what is needed for young affections and tender love whispers to be conveyed in these short melodies to make Fairuz essential for romance in our culture..
I will never dare to claim that I'm an expert of Fairuz, I'm far far from being that and I can still make the people who are, go pale from shock with things that I don't know but for me Fairuz is the voice of a period, of a time, of a memory and for that I will never forget these songs, they are part of me now...

Yesterday, when I started writing this blog, I was listening to a collection of Fairuz songs that belonged to someone so dear to me, that was enough to make me all geared up to talk about her and her music, today, going though the blogs that I follow, I read this blog, the song "Home" is again one that relates to a time and a feeling and now, I’m just listening to the music and a different set of thoughts and emotions is running through my mind...

For the majority of us, music is that, it is the fragments of memories that each song hold, the memory of the feelings that every tunes bring, and for the majority of us, this is what makes us love or hate a song or a singer; few are experts, some are real fans and most are just humans who identify the untouchable with a melody...
Whether it's wanting to come home, wondering how can you live without someone, simply just having a bad day, telling someone what love can do or that one day you'll fly away; a song can usually say it all…



PS: while looking for a picture to put with this post, i run a Google search with the word "Music" and ended up with 957million possible results and 51.3million images!!

Saturday 5 May 2007

Sorry &a bit more

I have been away for some time now, more than a month has passed since I last posted on this blog and I know that there was a number of you who commented on various previous posts but for a lot of reasons that would take way too much space I could not reply to you...For them who took the time to read and comment and to you, dear unknown friends, I send my apologies for this prolonged absence.

Thinking that I haven't written anything for some time has led me to think of the question, do you have to write for the sake of writing something? a blog, being a place were we bloggers note down our thoughts and ideas, should never be a commitment as such, it must not become a thing I have to do but should always be something I would like to do. In the end we, the happy bloggers community, aim to share a thought or a feeling or to advise and inform; but do we have a commitment to write? Is it ever a job in that sense? I think, and I hope you agree, that it's not! I have days when I sit in front of my screen and feel the need to communicate with you my dear friends and that is when I open a new posting and start typing. I feel that at those times, I’m happy that I’m talking to you, laughing, or just chatting about the various every day events that I have faced or noticed. I believe the every human has his/her unique way of understanding things and absorbing them (I have said as much before somewhere here) and telling things our way help all of us to gain prospective on life, universe and every thing else* and that is what every blogger aim to do, share, absorb and convey to others what little they have to offer.

The last few weeks have seen so many changes in my life, foundations of a new life have been set firmly on the ground God willing, and I feel that I’m on the verge of something so amazingly wonderful but so unbelievable personal that I want to scream it to the world but can't do yet...

In the last few weeks, I had so many firsts I stopped counting, but every one of these firsts was a moment that is now captured in my memory forever, suspended in time, detached from every day life and secured in the depth of who I am...

In the last few weeks, I've known what it means to belong, to love, to care, to share; what it mean to build a life, to live the dream (if only the beginning of one) and to fly high with the wind beneath my wings...

I’m writing this in such a public place, but at the same time, I’m fooling myself if I pretended not to be addressing it to one person in particular... I’m whispering to you but doing it so loudly across the infinite virtual space between us. Why am I doing that? I don't know but I know that I need to and you know me better than to ask for a reason...

I don't know much, but I know one simple thing, I know that I have the most precious gift a person can have, I know I have a heart beating for me and for me alone and I can never ask for more...

Thank you, for being a friend, a companion and a partner
Thank you for sharing the dream, the road and the trip with me
Thank you for being you, and for not wanting to change anything in me

Thank you...

*Of course from “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”