Monday, 9 February 2009
So why have I decided to write this blog at 37000 feet above sea level? Well simple, trying to waste my time during a 6 hour flight I started listening to some music on my ipod, so far a normal thing to do in these cases but this time I wasn't listening to just any music, I was listening to my shortlist for my First Dance!
One would think this shouldn't be too much of a chore, that every couple must have an all time favoured that they shared at a special time and that lasted with them through thick and thin. Sounds all so romantic (which is what a first dance should be) however having had an unorthodox relationship with my husband to be, we didn't have just one special moment but a million and while a song might have a special meaning, each new day for us carried so many challenges and so many changes that each had it's own special tune that has its place in my heart and I'm sure in his.
I remember the first song was the one that just spelled the missing and longing, “when I need you”, yes my dear reader, I only had to close my eyes and his loving arms would be keeping me safe and warm as we had to cross miles and miles of empty space in between us.
But the distance and the longing has shaped our relationship in ways that couples living close to each other cannot see, the love that we shared was far more reaching and engulfing. If a first dance can be to an Um Kulthum song, then my choice will be “el 7ub kuluh” all the love I loved in you. Anything before dissolved into a distant memory and life and love were just him.
There were times in the past three and a half years that I was simply overwhelmed by what he means to me, I'll be going about my work and my life and a feeling of pure unstoppable joy will overtake me with the thought that he loves me, he was my “everything” and he was the cool water in the hot summer and the line in the sand guiding me to the way.
Life goes on and what started as a rush of emotion has settled into a calmer wider ocean, vast and welcoming, life was perfect even with all the craziness of the world around us and one had to wonder “what a wonderful world”
Always, forever and a day, “we both know that our love will grow and forever it will be you and me” and I will love you so for always. Not a lot of certainties in life but this is one of the few I know and live by.
Now as this part of our journey comes to an end and a whole new life is stretching before us, I know that this journey will be an amazing one, I know that “you and my can light up the sky if you stay by my side”, “all the stars are coming out tonight, lighting up the star tonight for you” my one and only.
I know that if it was up to me, I would spend not only our wedding but my life, dancing to the rhythms that we shared over time, how can I chose just one and say that's the one when life with you is one song of love and companionship?
For me, at last I found that someone worth sharing life with, “at last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over, and life is like a song”.... at last I found the dream that I could speak to, a dream that I can call my own. You smiled and then the spell was cast and here we are in heaven for you are mine at last..
at last .....
at last ........