Mothers & Daughters

I'm not talking about mothers & daughters actually but rather about mothers in law & daughters in law!
There are enough comic references about the relationship between the two to fill volumes & enough drama for 30 Ramadan series but neither comedy nor drama is what I'm writing about, it is a simple fact that a lot over look, they both share the same, deeply routed, love to the same man...

The fact that escapes a lot of people is that this is not a love which can be subject to jealousy, the differences, the reasoning and the motives are so profoundly different between the two that you can never compete, not to mention compare, for that love.

A friend of mine once told me, "How can I not adore, to say the least, the woman that shaped the person I love to the man that he is today?" That was a food for thoughts, how many of us today think of the person that we're with as the product of some seriously hard work by his parents; at least a big portion of him/her to say the least? Temporary blindness of where this person came from is unbelievable common among people stepping into a new relationship! It is more obvious with the women because they are more obsessed (forgive me ladies for the use of the word but I’m including myself here) with claiming credit for their sons’ and husbands’ achievements in life and that is where the Mother in Law and the Daughter in Law come face to face, seeking the position of the great woman behind the great man!

My friend talked about that as well, she simple stated an obvious which we can miss so easily "she has his past, I have his future, she made him the man he is today and I will shape the man he will be tomorrow, we complete each other's work as we complete each other's happiness"

I'm not that confidant, I hope that I can add to the happiness of a beloved one and his family. It is a bit of a challenge, trying to complete a puzzle that you only play a small role in but still, it is so rewarding being received with open arms and open hearts by people who are not tied to you in any way other than the shared love to one man. Because of that I think that my mother in law is a great person! She somehow misses my obvious flaws and my strange moods and always greats me with the brightest of hellos and sweetest of compliments. I haven’t spent a lot of time with her, but I know that we sometimes share a look of happiness, love and pride of the one we love; now that he’s away, I take comfort in talking to her as she does talking to me.

I wonder if all mothers in law are like that, and if so why the comedy and drama? Maybe I’m lucky, or maybe it’s not as interesting without the theatrical additions! What do you think?

Lots of talk about nothing...

I try to write as a way to occupy my mind but every time I try I’m just drawn back to the same subject, I’m always drawn back to a centre point in this space called my life, I’m pulled back to him!

Every word I’ve written was for his eyes more than anyone else’s, I know that this may sound ungrateful to all the friends who read this blog but I cannot lie nor do I want to, he untied my hands to start writing again after so many years of staying away from writing and I know that his eyes were always there to read, appreciate, correct and comment with the honesty that has been the corner stone of our relationship..

Now, he’s been away for days so long, and will stay away for weeks that carry in its days the cold icy grip of loneliness and sadness of the soul before the aching of the heart.

I’m writing away my heartache for the million little things that I miss telling him of, of the few big things that I’m used to sharing with him for so long. I write and for the first time my words are carried through a virtual space to a prolonged empty void that stretches before me before his return.

He joked before he left telling me to enjoy my time of freedom away from him, that this will be the last “holiday” that I will have of him before a lifetime of being together but how this holiday feels like a long, never ending night.

It’s cold, brutal and harsh to ask someone to live without a heart for so long, the pain is overpowering and the imbalance is dizzying.

I know that I sound to your, dear friends still reading these words, like a silly teenager whining for no good reason! Trust me, until last week I was, like what everyone around me thought, a strong independent person; alas, my balance was shaken by the lack of a voice over the phone that wished me good morning and good night for the past few years, my solidity has been weakened by the awareness that I can’t just turn to him if I needed to. It’s not living my life through him, it’s gaining strength from the knowledge that he’s there.

The silly child that turned a strong woman in the past 4 years has uncovered the truth of how much one person means to her. Strange, I knew how important he is to me but I never imagined the extent to be that far reaching…

Forgive my outpour dear reader, I needed a place to scream and this void seemed the best of places, an echo will reach him one day and I’ll be pulled back from the cold to the worm life again, till then I rest my head on a cold empty pillow that still holds his scent and wait for a tomorrow that seems a lifetime away…