2008

Another year is coming to an end and like every year, we look forward to the year ahead and rethink that year that passed. Going with the latter , 2008 has been a phenomenal year to say the least. Events that we didn’t imagine took place during 2008, things that lifted us up and others that came crashing down on all of us. What is happening now in Gaza is just the last drop in a cup full of sadness we had to drink over the last 12 months.

For me 2008 has been a strange year, I went through unbelievable highs and very dark lows. The year held personal loss that had reaching domino effects on other things in my life and had a fundamental life changing gain that set the stage for a lifetime of change, sharing, partnership and love. Thus is life, gives you in one hand and takes from you in the other.

A year on from my last relevant post and the world had changed shape yet again, I’m not sure if I’m wiser of better on the eve on this new year, the one sure thing is that I’m older, age is the one unstoppable truth of a dying year, everything else is debatable.

A year has passed, a line has been drown and a new tally will start in a few hours…happy counting 2009

thoughts

As the rain drops click on the window my heart races to match their speed, driven only by the thought that this is the last winter that I'll be away from you and by the next time the trees shed their leaves, we will be watching the change of the seasons together.
I won't have to put your perfume on the pillow because finally you will be here & my head will forever rest on your shoulder & my breath will forever be scented with your love

Election fever 2008

you don't have to look too far to see that the US presidential elections have become the most followed political event world wide, but you might not realised that attention to the results of today's votes cast by 130 million Americans has far surpassed that given to any local election where you can actually vote and chose your own MP, PM or President. At a time when the leading months to election day were dominated by bad news in the financial sector and the real economy world wide, whoever is going to end up at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue next year will have a hell of task at hand and the crazy side to it, he will be having a direct impact on you and me wherever we may be.

It was quite amazing today at work when the conversation, dominated by poll figures and opinions, drifted to “remember where you were when....” the list included the 2000 election, 9/11, the 2004 re-election, princess Diana's death and the 2^nd Gulf war. The list was much longer of course, included sports and disaster (natural and man made) but listening to the discussion I started wondering, does every generation feel that they've seen far more and far worse than the generations before or are we build with such short memory that we forget/ignore what happened in the past?

I remember when the results of the 2004 elections were finally announced, people here (in London of course) were hoping against hope that the results would be different, I was at work following the BBC's interactive map showing every state and changing the colours according to results. There were some high points but then the long wait ended with a muted shock that we had to live with another 4 years of Bush administration going astray with war, human rights and the economy.

Now, 4 years down the line, no one here is daring to hope, not that a democratic president will be better than a republican one by default but the need for change is so overwhelming and so essential to all of us this time that we don't want to risk on someone from the same side of the political spectrum as the disaster we've had to live with for 8 years.

Do you know what's funny? I was in Syria at the time of the 2000 elections, no one liked Al Gore, vague memories of Bush Sr being the president behind the start of the peace process in the Middle East resulted in people cheering Bush Jr.'s win!! retrospective evaluation of events would indicate that this was a very bad cheer.

Now, we're so eager to see the “right” president in the White House we're trying not to jinx the results by predicting a clean win for Barack Obama; news agencies keep on reminding us of the undecided votes, of deceiving polls and of the true extent of the appetite for change in the US as many people might say they will vote for a black president but would decide at the last second that while they would like a change, Obama is too much of a change for their taste.

Tonight, the cover of all the evening papers shared one topic, the election in the US were covered in such depth, it pushed the faltering economy and other headline stories to the 2^nd pages. You had an election night TV guide advising you of the channels covering the unfolding results (BBC1 and ITV, SKY News and CNN if you're interested) throughout the night till the close of the last polling station at 6am London time. It even included a suggest list of food and snacks suitable for the occasion! Apparently pubs will be full of people who will follow the events of the night with the same excitement as any major sport event, this has been compared to the Cup Final in football.

Now I wonder what we will wake up to tomorrow morning, no matter how the wind blows it will be a slightly different world tomorrow even if it was different for just a few month into the new presidency. Tomorrow we will wake up and either become filled with unreasonable illogical joy resulting from an unsupported hope or be filled with a sensation of doom and gloom that we're heading for even darker times from the ones we live in today.

So will 130m Americans vote in a way that will pull us from the edge or push us further towards it? Well the addicts will stay awake to follow the results hour by hour, the rest of us will wake up tomorrow to hopefully a clear result so we will remember that we where in bed when we opened our eyes to a news update on our mobile or PDA broadcasting the results of the 2008 elections.

Happy elections every one,

All Tescos big and small

I’ve been away from this blog for some time now, so many things have happened, some good some not so good but as with everything else, life goes on.

Although there are so many things that I have in mind for possible blogs, I owe it so a number of people to return to my blog with this one. In summery this is a very big and long nag towards the largest supermarket chain in the UK made famous by it's motto “every little help”!!!

So to make a very long story a bit shorter, I will go on with telling my tale and try to keep my comments short.

Once upon a time, on a wet windy Saturday afternoon in the not so fair city of Coventry I walked into a Tesco Extra to get a last minute present for my brother's birthday which I completely forgot. Tesco's big sign and glass exterior were calling out to the masses searching for something and anything. At time when all were starting to feel the pinch of the credit crunch, Tesco's promise of lower prices was a big factor, alongside the convenience of a multi-branched entity and good customer service.

All that made me take the spare of the moment decision to buy a replacement cordless phone from that store. I was there, it was staring at me from the shelf and all I needed was to pick it up, swipe it on the self-service machines followed by my bank card, £99.99 poorer and I had a nice, sleek Philips cordless phone that promises superb quality for my long phone calls to my other half.

Sunday afternoon, I returned home after my weekend away cradling my new phone, I sat down and started to unpack the box, one handset, another handset, one stand, another stand and that was it! No cables, no phone connections no nothing. I knew that the technology has progressed so much but not the point of not needing cables to connect a phone to the wall! Bummer I have to find another Tesco to return my missing set and get a new one, I'm sure that they will be more than willing and more than apologetic for the error that happened and will send me on my way in 10 minutes.

Monday afternoon, guessing that this is a bigger task to handle for the small Tesco Metro near my work, I took a cab to the larger Tesco (large but not an Extra) near my house. Having the driver waiting for me outside I quickly went into the store, did a super speed shopping and then headed to the customer service desk where the following conversation took place:

Me (Customer): hello there, good evening. I was wondering if you can help me with returning an item.

Customer Service Staff member: sure madame, happy to be of service, do you have your receipt?

Me: yes, here it is, and here is the item.

Customer Service Staff member: Can I ask why you want to return it.

Me: Well I got from one of your stores and when I got home I found out that there were bits missing!!

Customer Service Staff member: oh that's not very good, let me check if we hold this item in stock and if we do I may be able to exchange it for you

Me: well If you don't I would prefer just to return it if that's OK

Customer Service Staff member: yes sure, no problem

Few minutes of checking around and scanning barcodes and checking her monitor, the staff member gave me a very grave look....

Customer Service Staff member: Sorry madame, we don't seem to sell this item in this store and I wont be able to be of assistance to you here

Me: ???? what does that mean

Customer Service Staff member: well, if we don't sell an item we can't accept a return of that item if it's not complete.

Me: ???????? what does that mean, I'm returning it because it's incomplete!

Customer Service Staff member: Well madame, we can take it here, you have to go to another Tesco Extra that stocks the phone. There is one in ***** or in ******

note (both places named were a healthy 20-30miles away from where I live)

Me: I can't understand, I bought this from a Tesco store, sure I should be able to return it to any Tesco store?!!

Customer Service Staff member: madame, if we don't have it you can't return it here!!

Me: but surely this is in violation of your return policy!

Customer Service Staff member: Sorry madame I can't do anything else

.....

.....

15 minutes later and 2 other staff members I decided to go for the top and asked to see the store manager...

Me: blah blah blah blah, same story for the 500^th time!

Assumed Store Manager: Well madam I just spoke to my manager (your manager! I thought I was speaking to the store manager already!) and I can help you with this (yes at last something), this is the number for the electrical help line (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) if you call them they will be able to send you out the missing parts.

Me: WHAT

Not Store Manager: well madam if we take if from you and we don't stock it then the cost of the phone will be deducted from the store revenue

Me: you mean to tell me that Tesco's profit will be damaged by a returned item that you will be able to return to the manufacturer!

Not Store Manager: Sorry madam. Nothing can be done other than that.

At that time, I realized that I was just wasting my time and I was not about to argue profitability, proper customer service and consumer rights with someone clearly unable to see the big picture.

45 minutes later and £23 less for the taxi who felt sorry for me and didn't charge me the full fare I was home trying to stay calm.

----------------------

Ring ring, Electrical Helpline (10p/m) and after some delay I managed to get through to an operator.

Me: Blah blah blah, the whole story again

Electrical helpline operator: but madam, that is not true, they should be able to take the phone of you and give you a full refund.

Me: well they said otherwise and now I'm £122 short and still no phone and I'm paying 10p/m just to tell you the story all over again.

Electrical helpline operator: Well madam, I used to work in a store and I know that they can. What you need to do is to call customer services tomorrow and they should be able to sort things out and offer you a suitable compensation.

Me: Well let see, you know that this will make an interesting topic for my next blog

Electrical helpline operator: oh madam, of course you're entitled to do so but can I ask you to reconsider your decision to do so, there maybe some not-so-good staff within Tesco but we are all very hard working and strive to serve our customers. Please here is my direct number and name and please tell me what happens with you.

My faith in the largest supermarket chain in the UK was regained a bit and I looked forward for the following day events.

----------------------

Customer service helpline (free phone): hello madam how can I help?

Me: blah blah blah (tell the whole story yet again added to it what happened at the other store and what the Electrical helpline told me)

Customer service helpline: well madam, no you wont be able to return it to that store (f****, $%&*, beep, beep, beep)

Then she proceeded to provide me a list of possible other stores were I can return the God forsaken phone all of which were miles away from where I live or work.

At that time I completely lost it, blasting over the phone demanding a solution, the customer service lady excused herself and advised me that she will check with her manager (beep, beep, beep) and call me back.

15 minutes later:

Customer service helpline: Madam I managed to sort something out

Me: about bloody time

Customer service helpline: well if you can return to the store near your house (the one I went to the day before) then they will take the phone from you and refund you fully.

Me: and what about the cost of the taxi last night and what I will have to pay today because of your incompetence?

Customer service helpline: Sorry madam, I can't help you with that, the local store can choose to offer you suitable compensation if they chose to. Tesco don't have a compensation policy (??????!!!!!!!)

To keep a very long story not that long, I went that evening and returned the phone, the lady at the story of course refused to offer any kind of compensation and was as cold as an ice cube. I was down another £10 for the cab but by then I would have gladly thrown that phone through a Tesco store window.

I returned home grateful that I managed to get my £99.99 back although it cost me £33 to do so. On my way back I went into the electrical appliances store near me (God bless Comet) and enjoyed some decent customer service with a specialist helping me to chose a phone and explaining their return policy in full.

Why have I filled 3 pages of ranting regarding this matter? Well it's simple, at a time when all are concerned about their finances. When the pennies matter as much as the pounds and consumers are more wary of how they spend their hard earned cash, at times like this, a large supermarket chain that would refuse to return defaulted items, not to have a clear return policy and appalling customer service standard and lake of consistency across the board is shameful, disgusting and even worrying. We may have been more forgiving before and hence allowing for Tesco to grow so big with not that good of a service to offer but are we paying for that now when we can't ignore such things?

PS: I was almost finished writing this blog when I came across something relevant:

Two friends shared their experiences with Tesco, one made an online grocery order for a dinner party he was holding 2 days later. After booking an evening delivery slot between 9 and 11pm and paying for it, 11pm came and went and there was no sign on the delivery. Phoning the help desk, he was advised that the driver was running late (they couldn't be bothered to call) 11:30 and 12 came and went and the delivery didn't show up and by that time the not-so-helpful help desk was closed. Phoning the store the following day, they coldly ignored his complaint and simply advised him that they will arrange for another delivery. When he tried to cancel the order he was advised that he can’t! So now he has to keep his fingers crossed that his delivery will arrive in time for him to feed his guests.

The 2^nd issue related to Tesco's confirmation that if there are more than 3 people at the till they will open up 3 tills! My friend was standing in a queue of 6 with only 2 tills open, when he asked why wont they open another till he was given the all knowing look and told him “that's just a TV AD”!

Well “Every little help” is Tesco's Motto. Wonder what kind of help they're talking about?

PS 2: a friend of mine have pointed me to this site: www.tescosucks.co.uk

have a nice read

Young @ heart

I know, I know, before you jump down my throat for using this line in describing myself, since I'm only 29, let me remind you the young & old is a relative description of a person's status & as such cannot be restricted to one age group!

This line barged in on my thoughts returning from work today while thinking (& excuse my mental jump here but I did use the word barge) about the merits of living in hilly green Kent! On a day when London is basking under C30 temperature & 90% humidity I only had to step outside the train onto the platform to feel the difference, the cool fresh breeze was a wonderful change from the artificial coolness of recycled air in the office & the mugginess of the air on the streets.

So I was in the middle of mentally congratulating myself on my choice of location when this intruder line jumped in without any obvious logical connection to see.

So me being me I took my blackberry & started punching in the line & retracing the mysterious thinking patterns that led me to it. If you're wondering, this is how I write the majority of my blogs & that should answer to why my sentences and thoughts are all over the place sometimes.

So back to young @ Heart! I will ask for your patience here for this will take some extra lines to go through. I remember my family’s reaction when I first told them that I'm planning on buying a house outside London! To my parents who spent their entire time in this country centralised in Fulham road, living on the edge of zone 6 (about 27miles away from central London for those who don’t know the “Zone” lingo) resulted in a reaction similar to telling them I’m buying the house in Scotland! They were very polite about it knowing that I’m the one who will be living in the place after all but they didn’t hide their “concerns” about the distance and the daily commute that I will have to follow.

My siblings were more open about it, “why the hell do you want to live outside the tube network”, “1 hour commute every day by train!!!” and the star reply “you’ll be a total foreigner there sticking out like a sore thumb”! well that day has passed and I’ve been living in my house for more than 3 years now, my parents love staying over with me whenever they come, they swear by the easiness of moving out and about and I’m a usual stop point for those on their way to cross the English channel.

Me buying my house was the first “adult” decision I’ve made! You might think that coming over here to begin with was a big enough call but actually it wasn’t, it was a mix of luck and impulses that led me to England and it was a similar set of reasons that led me to my current job which resulted in my settling here rather than returning to Syria after my degree.

That first decisive conscious choice that I made was followed by other, equally important and fundamental ones which resulted in me being where I am today. But here is the trick, I’m a free independent woman, living on her own and shouldering a job and a mortgage but it hasn’t been that long, relatively speaking, when I was the youngest of lot, spoiled in every imaginable way and without a care in the world! that is my “young at heart” soul that had to make a disappearance in a very short period of time for a verity of reasons. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you see it, it hasn’t disappeared without a trace, it still peaks it’s head every now and then when I shock people (especially those who only know the new me) with something completely out of character.

At the same time, for those who lived with me before, they remember a cheerful young girl without a worry in the world and they expect to see that girl every time they see me! It is a bit difficult at time when people expect you to even talk in a cheerful way every time you’re on the phone, and if you don’t then something is wrong and they have to fix it! It is a hard call to make, do you let them in on the new grown up version of you and let them see the worries and the concerns and all the life calculations that grown ups do or do you keep the young at heart version alive and well in their eyes so that not to cause them any undue concerns?

This has never been easy, a lot of the times, I wish I can go back to my young version, let someone else worry about the big things, the life decisions and the tough choices. Sometimes, the burden of responsibility can be overwhelming and people tend to forget that because one is always putting on a mask of easiness over everything but what is the alternative? Can I go back to being me 5 years ago? No is a very simple and effortless reply, I have so many priceless things because of the past 5 years none of which I’ll be willing to let go of.

Do I forget about my young self that is lurking in the deep, longing to be set free from all these adult demands? Not too sure.

It maybe the biggest call of my adult me, a call that a lot of people had to make at one point in their life. To chose between a life full of pull and push between old and young and a life which is rapidly progressing forward without any emotional maturity ties to its youth.

I’m not sure, but I think that while the former is much more of a rollercoaster ride, the latter is too smooth for my taste, not being able to be childish when I want to is way too boring and way too “grown up” for me!

So the answer at 29 is for now, I will always be young at heart, I will carry the freedom of my 24 self to prevent me from tying myself too much with life’s road and decisions. Young at heart is a safety from being too rigid and too old to see the freshness of a new day and feel the coolness of an easy summer breeze on a tired face waiting at some platform in green, hilly Kent.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Chiquitita

Chiquitita, tell me what’s wrong
you’re enchained by
your own sorrow
in your eyes
there is no hope for tomorrow
how I hate to see you like this
there is no way you can deny it
I can see that you’re
oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I’m a shoulder you can cry on
your best friend
I’m the one you must rely on
you were always sure of yourself
now I see you’ve broken a feather
I hope we can
patch it up together

Chiquitita
you and I know
how the heartaches
come and they go
and the scars they’re leavin’
you’ll be dancin’ once again
and the pain will end
you will have no time for grievin’
Chiquitita
you and I cry
but the sun is still in the sky
and shining above you
let me hear you sing once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita
try once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita

So the walls came tumblin’ down
and your love’s a blown out candle
all is gone and it seems
too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
there is no way you can deny it
I see that you’re
oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita
you and I know
how the heartaches
come and they go
and the scars they’re leavin’
you’ll be dancin’ once again
and the pain will end
you will have no time for grievin’
Chiquitita
you and I cry
but the sun is still in the sky
and shining above you
let me hear you sing once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita
try once more
like you did before
sing a new song
Chiquitita

A love less ordinary

I close my eyes and reach out, I can feel the warmth of his skin against mine and for a second the emptiness disappear folding the distance between us and I feel his face against the palm of my hand. He’s a breath away, I keep my eyes closed and I’m free falling through the gentleness of his smile and the joy I see reflected between the two of us stretches a lifetime of dreams and promises.

Whenever I think of love I think of a love less ordinary, as if there is something such as an ordinary love! I look back and see a passion that defied the distance, a connection that broke the lines of logic and normality and a simple belief in something extraordinary.

For long I wondered how this happened? I questioned with the scared heart of a child why was I blessed with such gift? When all around me are giving up in love, was I to be the one to carry on the faith that pure, unconditional, dizzyingly vast and all consuming love is out there to be won?

Years have passed, what started as a unique friendship has changed overnight to an avalanche of emotion that buried everything with a blanket of sweetness. Years on, and that sweetness remains, magically fragranced, intoxicating the soul with so much happiness.

Years on and I’m a changed person, but how can I not change when I know that after so long, I will never be alone again? A person can live his or her life alone, friends, family and colleagues are shadows that pass along the way but there is a personal space around that is never breach or violated. I walked through life with that space untouched, and with every broken heart, with every sad farewell the wall is tougher to break and harder to breach, I walked that lonely road till he walked to me and that wall vanished to thin air… He showed me what love is, held my hand and promised me with a believer’s faith, a child’s joy and a warrior’s strength that I will never have to walk alone ever again. He didn’t have to promise with words for the look in his eyes made a thousand and one promises for all to see and for me to cherish.

Now I know that I will never be alone again, oblivious to the distance separating us, I just close my eyes and lose myself in that promise. I know that while miles and miles of empty spaces between us he’s only a heartbeat way.

He is my faith and our love is my constitution, I can take anything that life throws at me for I shall never be alone.

For now I have known love and for that I will never be just a thought passing in time.

Now I’m truly loved and for that, I will forever leave a trace of something more than just a life lived.

You whisper your love for me to wake up to

and my heart blossoms a rose under your fingertips

Caramel

One of my old friends from Syria has recently moved to London. She stayed over at my place for a couple weeks before finding a flat and moving out. So far she has given me 2 wonderful gifts for my hospitality, both were visual feasts and I would have missed both if it wasn’t for her invite.

My friend unknowingly dragged me (and I have to admit that I was a bit cautious the first time so dragging is the word) to 2 non English speaking films! The first was in Persian* “The Kite Runner” and the 2^nd was Arabic, “Caramel/سكر بنات”.

I have to admit that if I was on my own, I wouldn’t have chosen to watch either of the two, for me going to the cinema is a time to disconnect from the real world and lose myself for a couple of hours. I like the collective psyche that you get from watching a film at a movie theatre, the audience laughing, gasping and cheering together. Taking that into consideration, watching a film that appeals to a niche market wasn’t much my thing but my friend has asked me to accompany her, and I’m too polite to say no!

What I got as a result of my politeness was breathtaking! I will write at another time about “The Kite Runner” it deserves another take before I can comment on the film, suffice to say that it was close to being a spiritual experience not just a movie.

The 2^nd film that my friend suggested, and I was a more willing companion this time, was “Caramel” or “سكر بنات”. A fellow blogger has already mentioned it here, and I’m happy that the film is getting some headlines as it is surely one to watch.

The story is very simple, it’s simple as life seem to be in a quiet Beirut street in a middle class area, everything goes by in its normal slow pass that is a trade mark of such neighbourhoods. A seemingly simple life at a seemingly simple time and the lives of four girls working at a beauty saloon with a satellite of characters surrounding them.

This simplicity is quickly dismissed once you’ve scratched the surface of the story! Tales of the forbidden and the unobtainable are tangled with the society’s views and taboos surrounding the female entity in our sunny orient.

Caramel, is a symbol of the simple act that all women are joint with, it’s sticky sweetness is that of a society’s view of what should be and not what is there. In it’s simple basis, it hides the painful differences that a woman have to suppress in order to fit into a structure that catalogues her in a rigid structure of looks, status, purity and sexual orientation; departing from that structure is not permitted and that same society has created the means to maintain this structure even by falsifying and masking the truth.

The simple/complexity of the story is mirrored in the langue used in the film, while the words are simple, common with no unnecessary pretence, the acting and the music complete the structure of the scene. One of the most breathtaking dialogues was with Rose sitting in front of her mirror preparing for the hope that arrived 30 years late only to be held back from her later day's dream by the ranting of Lili. You didn’t need words to read the conflict between duty and the simple hope for happiness. The words were redundant in that scene, the music was heart breaking and the acting was unbelievable.

The film touched on a number of challenging topics, some relevant only to our eastern society (purity, sexual orientation) and some relating to all women in all places and times, how the illusion of love can degrade someone, holding on to lost youth and how happiness is found in what we let go of rather than what we pursue.

I don’t know how a non Arabic speaker would rate this film, not being part of the culture, not understanding the usage of language that no mater how accurate the translation is, it can never convey the meaning of some of the words used. I know that for me and my friend, watching this film together at a west end cinema in London, we were transformed home for 90 minutes. In a way, I didn’t want it to end, I wanted to stay in that simple, sun drenched Beirut street and embrace more the different life that passes by there.

The last scene of the film was enchanting, crazy Lili gathering the discarded papers in the street with Rose, trying to find what a lost lover has written to her somewhere, sometime we don’t know about. How many of us walk through life chasing these pieces of papers? Never finding what we’re looking for but never giving up the search…

Caramel by director/actress Nadine Labaki

*Thanks Paolo!

I carry your heart with me

I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it

Anywhere I go you go, my dear;

and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling

I fear no fate
for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world
for beautiful you are my world, my true

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and

whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

here is the root of the root and

the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky

of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope

or mind can hide and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart I carry it in my heart

E.E. Cummings

Lists, lists, lists...

So, I think I’m officially the worst blogger to be tagged, ever! Syrian Brit tagged me more than 3 weeks ago, that was my first tag and, after this delay, I think it will be my last!

So I was tagged to list 6 things to do before you’re 18! Well my 29^th birthday was a couple of days ago so theoretically I’m not that far from the time I was 18 but it still feel eons ago.

Any way before I start with my usual flow (that is hard to stop) I have to start by listing the 6 rules to this task:
1. Post these rules before presenting your list.
2. List 6 actions or achievements you think every person should accomplish before turning 18.
3. There are no conditions on what can be included on the list.
4. At the end of your blog, choose 6, or less, people to get tagged and list their names.
5. People who are tagged write their own blog entry with their 6 suggestions.
6. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

Well, as Lujayn did, I’ll skip the last 3 due to the delay in replying to this blog plus the fact that most people I know on the blog sphere have already been tagged with this task.

So here it is, my contribution to this serial chain of ideas?

1-Read a book!

I know that this sounds extremely daft but I don’t mean to read just any book, before you’re 18, you should have read at least one book that was able to touch your heart and leave an imprint on your soul. Before you’re 18, you should discover the influence a written word can have. After that life just flow by so quickly and you will barely have time to open up to a book that way, and if you don’t, you’ll miss on so much. In today’s word that gives so much weight to the visual and high tech, the book is sliding away from the public landscape and if you don’t build it in your life before you’re 18 it will be very difficult to do so later and you’ll lose out on one of the greatest pleasures in life. When I was 18, the book that left the deepest impact on me was Roots; it still occupies its special place on the bookshelf on my mind.

2-Stay awake for 3 days working on something!

You will have the energy and the passion to drive you to do so and both will be much less available as you get older and “wiser” and things that will give you such a drive become more and more rare.

You stay awake on excitement and enthusiasm alone and by the end when your energy has finally been consumed you look at the fruit of your labour, let it be the last page on a book or the last touch on an essay and you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of achievement. Your achievement maybe only such a climax in your own mind, most people will tell you that you can’t really do something of substance before you’re 18 but then the eagerness of youth and the pride of a young mind cannot be suppressed by anyone and no one can convince you that what you’ve done isn’t a wonderful achievement. You have such high spirit and too much faith in yourself to allow that to happen, something much harder later in life.

3-Be there for someone,

When you’re 18, you’re in a gray area between adolescence and adulthood; it is during then that people are not sure of which side you’re on. During that time, the first time you get beyond the selfishness that marks us as children and teenagers and someone turns to you for help and you’re there for them that what marks your life in the years to come. If you never do that before you’re 18, you’ll find it more and more difficult to do when you’re older and the demands of life and more and more with every passing day. I remember the day that this happened with me as if it was yesterday, and I know that it has shaped me into the person I’m today.

4-Travel

The second your feet land on foreign soil you feel the possibilities open up in front of you. It’s amazing, how the narrow comfortable world you know, the casual and the mundane that one slips into in his or her own day to day surrounding dissolves when this new world stretches in front of you.

Before you’re 18, you have to know that the world is so much bigger and the possibilities on where you can be in this world are endless. Expand your horizon as much as possible before you’re 18 and you start being afraid of how big the outside is. Before you’re 18 the world is an adventure, the more you take in from this adventure the more you can expand into it afterwards.

5-Put a list of 6 things you want to do by the time you're 30!

It’s funny that just before Syrian Brit tagged me to do this blog, I was sketching the outline for a blog about the different lists we all have, that outline was lost when my blackberry crashed and I never returned to it! Nonetheless, one of the lists I thought of was the list we all put together when we’re younger and just coming out to the world.

Every 18 year old should have already put a list of things to achieve before they’re 30. The faith of an 18 year old will allow them to be bold and creative, they’re ambition is still in full force and the knock backs that life hands them are still too weak to cause damage. At 18, one can take on the world and that’s what one should aim for.

When you’re 30, although you haven’t done the things on your list, it did help in pushing you up and forward. Your list is your own, you don’t have to share it, and the advice is not to do so. This is your own Mount Everest that you will challenge yourself to climb it the following 12 years. Why 30? Well, I’m 29 now and my Mount Everest has changed a lot from how it was at 18 but it remains as challenging as it used to be then.

6- Fall in love

I know that this has been mentioned before in different ways and by many people but I don’t think any list can be completed without it. Before you’re 18, your notion of love is that what you read in books and see on screen, a view that is, in 99 cases out of a 100, skewed at best and totally distorted at worst. The distinction between love, sexual drive and friendship is very vague at that time and it’s so easy to think that any one of the latter two is love. Fall in love before you’re 18 and you’ll get your heart broken, you’ll feel the hurt and ache but you’ll become much wiser. Take your first step towards really falling in love; you’ll learn the difference between infatuation and love, between friendship and love and between desire and love. This is a lesson that you have to start learning before your 18 and carry on learning through out the following years. It is only when you have passed your finals that you can truly know the meaning of falling in love.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare's Sonnet 116

Years on, you're still the one...

When I first saw you, I saw love.
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.

Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

Bridge:
They said, I bet they'll never make it
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'

Bridge:
They said, I bet they'll never make it
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

Chorus:
(You're still the one)
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're the one I want for life
(You're still the one)
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

I'm so glad we made it
Look how far we've come my baby

The book thief

I have a confession to make, I’m an addict!

I’m seriously addicted to reading. Since I was young, my parents had to live with me reading in bed, under the covers, laying on the couch face down with the book on the floor or turning from one side to the other trying to rest my arms during a marathon reading session when I was hooked to some book. For me books were an unlimited source for knowledge and food for the imagination, I never had a certain book type that I go for, I read everything and anything and in spite of the advances in the technology, I’m a die hard fan of the physical book. It’s like a life long relationship, replacing a book with an e-book is kind of unfaithful in my mind, it’s like replacing a wife with a mistress!

Coming over to this country and being busy with my study, and later my work, my addiction didn’t subsided. In the country of “3 for 2” and “buy 1 get 1 free” the temptation of Boarders, WHSmith and Amazon was too great to resist. Even before I knew that I’ll be settling in this country, my largest position was soon books (a couple of large boxes by the end of my masters year) and now, having a house to myself, I’m starting to struggle with finding enough space for my books!

When I walk to a bookshop, I’m rarely looking for a specific book, I window shop at book stores and enjoy experimenting with the books I buy, some of the best books I read were ones I bought on a spree rather than intently. One of these books was “The Book Thief”

Some books are moving, some hit a soft spot within you, some are blatantly asking for an emotional involvement from the reader and some are too cheesy it’s a bit too much for my taste, The Book Thief is not one of those! It’s in a whole new level of its own.

The story is about a little girl in Nazi Germany who escapes the madness of the world around her into the world of the books she read. The books that she steels for the snow, the fire and the authority. In a country that was demonised, brain washed and massacred by words, the book thief have used words to heal wounds, help people and keep some sanity in a mad time. the book talks about Liesel’s life from 1939 when she was 8 till 1943 when she was almost 13. the story is narrated by Death, he has been so busy during that time, trying to race around and catch up with the extra workload of the time but is, at the same time, fascinated with humans who are capable of such ugliness and such beauty all at once.

Reading the book for me was like falling in love, you start with curiosity than familiarity, during which I was still able to restrain myself to reading just during my morning commute, then, without realising how, you’re so attached you’re left breathless with the beauty of the words and the story behind them. I was hocked so that having to close the book when I get to work was getting increasingly difficult. I tried the discipline of reading one chapter a day but every time I close the book it would plead to me to come back again and again and again.

Throughout the book, the narrator will make mental stops, explaining something, pointing out something or giving a glimpse of things to come. These mental stops were not intrusive, they were set out in the book in a non-disruptive way; it was like driving a wonderful picturesque road and with the grand scenery you’ll come across a beautiful rose bush on the side of the road, it doesn’t distract you from the beauty around but supplements an extra dosage of charm to your trip.
----------------------------------------

"First the Colors, then the humans.

That's usually how I see things.

Or at least how I try"

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“the girl knew from the onset that he’d always appear mid-scream, and he would not leave.

šA Definition Not Found in The Dictionary›

Not-Leaving: An act of trust and love, often deciphered by children.”

----------------------------------------

"A Small Piece of truth:
I do not carry a sickle or scythe. I only wear a hooded black robe when it’s cold.

And I don’t have those skull-like facial features that you seem to enjoy pinning on me from a distance. You want to know what I truly look like?

I’ll help you out. Find yourself a mirror while I continue.”

-----------------------------------------

“Five hundred souls.

I carried them in my fingers, like suitcases. Or I’d throw them over my shoulder. It was only the children I carried in my arms.”

-----------------------------------------

“she didn’t dare to look up, but she could feel their frightened eyes hanging on to her as she hauled the words in and breathed them out. A voice played the notes inside her. This, it said, if your accordion.

The sound of the turning page carved them in half. Liesel read on.”

-----------------------------------------

The story flows like a summer dream even with the horrors that it carried. You would feel the grip on your heart when you read the recount of death’s visit to Liesel’s friend, you can see, even without closing your eyes, the destruction as the world around her fell to pieces and she remained there among the rubble of a shattered life, you will not hold your tears back as she lets hers flow for the ones she love. By the end of the book, Liesel will be part of you and the loss, the joy, the highs and the words will belong to you as much as they belonged to the words shaker.

The moment I closed the book I felt the urge to turn back to the front page and read it again, this time slower, taste the lines again. I wanted to read it with a mental camera to capture the most beautiful of scenes as if selecting one was something possible. I still have the book by my side, like a love affair, you can never walk away completely and you will revisit what happened again and again.

If you have the time, read this book, if you don’t have the time, try to spare some moments for it, it’s so much worth it.

The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak, first published in Australia in 2005.

Another day, Another year...

So, another day and another year has gone by, like most (if not all) people on the planet we square our positions, do our yearly inventory, tally up all the books and pass a judgment on whether the year that passed was a good year or a bad one!

And like most, it’s always somewhere in between, the year had its highs and lows and on average we end the year roughly where we started or, if lucky enough, a bit happier, more satisfied or well off.

So what was 2007 for me? Another step towards the big 30 which seems so much closer nowadays; not sure what the judgment of the first 30 years will be, I leave that to the wiser/older crowd to suggest and to me at 31 to decide!

2007 witnessed a gigantic step in my personal life, a lucky, or unlucky depending on how you see it, man has decided that I’m a suitable partner to spend his life with believe it or not. He has popped the question 2 years ago now but the whole family/formality side of things came into existence at super speed earlier this year. Over our 2 and ½ years relationship, we’ve driven each other mad, up the wall, into success and towards better, brighter places in life. We’ve shared so much and learned so much about each other and more importantly about ourselves. Words like love, passion, friendship, care and happiness were redefined in 2007 and I can only hope that this trend will carry through in 2008 and beyond.

Career wise, I’ve now spent more than a year at my current position after finishing my rotation, I’ve crossed swords with a few, argued with a few and stepped on a lot of toes over this period but no matter how horrible the day goes, I wake up most of the times looking forward to arriving at the office. I enjoy what I do immensely and although when I started this road in 2004 I was heading in a completely different direction, God/fate/destiny had a different idea and I ended up at a much more exciting, and unexpected, place. It can be mad at the office sometimes but it can never be boring!

I can’t believe that I’ve lived in this country since 2003! It feels so long and so short at the same time! The days when I was living and working in Damascus are ancient history in a way but I can fully remember the “me” that was then! It seems a life time away but I can see it so clearly as if locked in a glass box that is the old me. Have I become a wiser, better person since I came to this country? I have no idea to tell you the truth, living in London is now such a part of me it’s hard to imagine living in any other place. I remember telling a fellow Londoner/blogger before that I love the city with all its contradictions and sides. For me Damascus carries my past, family, roots but London is the sky I’m expanding my branches into. I appreciate the freedom it offer and the challenges it carries and I think I still have a few more “London years” in me yet.

What do I have in store for 2008? I was reading Abufares’ blog today about New Year’s Eve over the year, and if not anything else, it simply shows you that a new year can carry you anywhere and while you try to plan a year ahead you never know where the wind will throw you in the year to come. Where will I be on New Year’s Eve 2008? I don’t have a clue, I just hope that I’ll be spending it with the people I love and share the tallying with them then.

I hope 2008 will add to me as much as 2007 has and for it to be a happier one for the people I know that all of you dear readers.

Happy 2008!